Auspicious Friday 27/2/09 -

Today is an auspicious day, an anniversary of the birth of a good person. A person who has very least desire. A person who is very unique in many ways. I can't give a hint who. All I know is that I know this person very very well since birth. I can describe many many things about him/her.

1. .......... blue is the favourite colour
2............ durian is the favourite fruits
3.............love ice-cream , who don't.
4.............can sleep alone.
5............. don gamble.
6............. lazy to mix around.
7..............love cooking.
8..............love to sit on a rocking chair.
9..............financially poor
10............never play internet game.- lazy to play
11.............prefer coffee to tea
12.............love novels
13.............love eating
14.............never travel outside Malaysia
15.............never seen snow
16.............never married, never divorce
17.............love dreaming
18..............sometimes love to talk non-stop
19..............clean in heart.
20...............pure in thoughts
21..............stupidly happy, contend and no worries presently

and the list may goes on and on .......... because,,,,,, ........... because i know her since birth. She is .......... Happy Birthday

Old Historical Love

I was 16 and he was 20. We used to write and exchange letters regularly. He was my pen friend then. In those days there were no internet. From then on, immediately after coming back from school I will quickly checked my letter box daily. I am not sure if it were friendship, love or infatuation I felt at that time. But I knew each letters from him not only will make me smile the whole day. It makes feel feel so energetic. Four years pass by, and one day he decided to pay me a visit.

Though full of enthusiasm to meet my dream love in person, having not enough confidence, too deep in love as I knew I will not be able to accept any rejection should he dislike how I look like, how I talk, how my manners are, I decline to meet him in person. Since then I have never heard from him. 5 years, 10 years 15 years , etc I haven't forgotten him completely.

Lately during spring cleaning I have thrown all his letters sent to me yet the memory still remains.

There were times I wish to see and meet him again, and if chances permit, to kiss and give him a deep passionate hug.

Oh no, what if he has grown so fat and ugly and with his wife and children around. Then I would have waken up to my rational consciousness. Oh no, cannot be. Well, those were the days. It shouldn't be remembered or even recalled. Whatever is over is best left as it be.

P.S. This is not my real story. Inspired to be a fiction writer. I will be writing more of such stories related to the heart in time to come.

Confuse - Falling in love, why not rising in love ??

The above title is self explanatory.

Falling and not rising ?

It is described as falling because being in love brings a lot suffering, sorrow, worries and makes one down. Falling in love also bring about internal conflict. Internal conflict meaning we knew the truth, the righteous path but simply unable to control our desire for some excitement, thrill maybe some lusty actions

Even history also taught us that some emperor lost and failed due to the woman they loved. The popular beautiful Helen of Troys causes so much chaos and wars when so many men are trying to woo her. Another example Napoleon Bonarparte's love for Jospehine was not truly a constant happy union.

According to novels, falling in love is something beautiful, that brings you so much pleasure and joy. And there are always some people who are ready to fight, with strong determination for the love because of loving someone. Some tends to be too emotional and even commit suicide should their love one withdraw from him/her.

Love is the basis of marriage - suppose to be the basis of marriage. Today obsession of commodity outweigh pure love. Financial criteria become the first criterion in everybody's life. Love is becoming very rare or maybe no longer exist, extinct through time, development and modernisation . Men and women are now mostly being lusty, interested in having physical sex with no care and concern attached. Even if there is love attached , there sure to be conditional love.

Another friend even told me. Those symbolic of cupid arrow strike. How come there be no pain when the arrow strike. Blood even ooze out.

Does this sorrow applies mainly because we love the wrong person, mismatch through unknown reasons, circumstances or is it already fixed this way, has to be happen and will happen?

Sources :
http://www.napoleonguide.com/josephine.htm
http://www.english.illinois.edu/MAPS/poets/g_l/hd/abouthelen.htm

"Frauline"

FRAULEIN

Performed by: Victor Wood

Far across the blue water
Away over yonder
By the banks of the old river Rhine
Where I loved her and left her
But I can't forget her
I miss my pretty Fraulein

Fraulein, Fraulein
Look up towards the heaven
Each night when the stars start to shine
By the same stars above you
I swear that I love you
You are my pretty fraulein
Where I loved her and left her
But I can't forget her
I miss my pretty Fraulein

When my memory wander
Away over yonder
Of the sweetheart that I left behind
In a moment of glory
A face comes before me
The face of my pretty Fraulein

Fraulein, Fraulein
Walk down by the river
Pretend that your hand's holding mine
By the same stars above you
I swear that I love you
You are my pretty Fraulein

Inspire by this song and years of searching for an English name, I finally conclude that I like the name "Fraulein" to be mine. In addition I do not have any friends or acquaintances with this name. So no clashing.

Two things that are guaranteed in life

Two things that are guaranteed in life are "changes" and "death"

Nothing remains constant in life. Everything changes with time, for example, our hobbies, liking, taste buds, love, feelings, looks, believe, on the macro level, eg systems and procedures of organisations, directors, person in charge, C.E.O. presidents etc. They never stay constant for any long period of time. And they are also varies with circumstances that come in our way. Changes is therefore guaranteed. How nice if all good happy moments are to stay on permanently with laughter every where. This is too much a dream. This world is a world of obsession of commodities. Greed, ego, lust, anger and attachment overrides all virtues. A vicious world hidden behind a happy joyful drama. A drama most played by commercial entities to exploit wealth.

And of course everybody agrees "death" is sure to take place to all of us one day.

Other than death and change, nothing else is stable. Everything else are superficial and just temporary.

Chap Goh Mei Night - Phone Conversation

Beep, beep, beep, beep , the phone rings.

The wife Cynthia picks up the call : Hi !

The husband named John: Where are you?

Cynthia : Hmmmm at home, listening to music.

John : Why don't you go to watch Lion dance or go to watch Gurney Drive tonight?

Cynthia : I am not interested,. Besides it is too crowded and pack. I cannot stay in crowded place, that makes me lonely. Lonely in a crowd.

John: Why don't you called your friend Celia to go with you then?

Cynthia : Celia has her own companion.

John : Why don't you ask somebody else to go with you?

Cynthia : Oh no, no, everybody else are dead or not yet borned.

John : You should be going to to Gurney Drive to watch people throw oranges. Enjoy the ambience

Cynthia : What the fuck, wasted orange, better throw to my stomach or at least to you.

John : Aiyo, you bullshit queen.

Cynthia : Not bullshit, sincere honest answer. You knew I have been watching this parade or ritual so many times before and I am bored seeing them again.

John is unable to take Cynthia out tonight because John has been posted to work in another country by his company.

* P.S. Inspired by the so many times talked about throwing oranges to the sea by so many people. The conversation didn't take place actually. Just a work of fiction.

Bought Myself A Gift

Choosing a gift for myself between a new 3G phone and a gold bracelet. Both are almost of the same price range. It was an ad hoc purchase meaning , I did not plan earlier. My bracelet broke and fell down last few days, and therefore I went to have it mend. While at the shop I was attracted to another bracelet of different design. I do not want to exchange my old bracelet with the new bracelet because they will minus 25% of the market value of the existing bracelet. In the shop I was having some thinking whether if I want to allocate my money for a new 3G handphone or this another new bracelet.

The advantages of new 3G hand phone is that it is the current trend of owning the latest gadget. It is good to keep up with one's peers.

The advantages of buying gold jewellery is that the price of gold never depreciate with time.

I was thinking who the hell wants to MMS me any pictures if I were to have a new 3G phone. Nobody is going to call me up to say "Hello, here is me ............., do u like what you see" or anything like that.

After a few minutes I decided with another new bracelet. The shop seller too was a good salesman. He said, "Buying gold is good because you can still see the physical form even after many years later, it won devalue and is lasting"

Welcome February

February being the shortest month in the year, is my favourite month. Meaning to work lesser days in this month. Feb is also the month people celebrate Valentine Day. Having nothing much to talk about, I asked my friends which category is more sad. The person who has never celeberate Valentine Day before in his or her whole life, or the person who used to celebrate Valentine with his or her partner but somehow possibly because of separation or no longer in love he or she does not celebrate anymore. All my friends said that the latter is more sad.

I am not too sure myself because in my opinion the first group (those not never had love before) may be ignorant and unaware of anything due to no comparison before and after experience. The latter group have the chance to compare the differences before and after. How can you miss something that you never had before? Or if one is inquisitive, then he or she will proceed to ask why not me that is celebrating. This is also not linking to happiness.

Those that had celebrating with their close sweethearts before. It boils down depending on one's perception and attitude. The positive outlook people will probably feels that "Well at least I have experience the joy that it has happened and oblivious to the fact that the love has now gone stale or died off. " On the other hand those that are not able to let go, will keep on reminiscing of the past good happier moments, wishing that it could be the same this year.

So both parties have their fair share of sad and happiness depending on their state of mind.