To be suspicous, doubtful and uncertain about annother human is understandable because human is not without weaknesses, fickle-minded, absent-minded, egositics, greed, and anger.
However to have these 3 feelings towards God is something maybe I should learn more about the Book of God more. In today's sermon I learn about the power of prayer. I was told if we work, we work alone, If we pray God also works for us. We as Christian must side a set time for prayers daily.
And the phrases for the beginning of prayers must goes like this:
1. Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Then followwed by whatever you are asking for.
The ending paragraph is "Nevertherless not my will but Thine be done"
In Nehemiah 1 and 2 , Nehemiah prayed for 120 days before there was any feedback.
It is not to be forgotten that prayer is not so much on getting from God as what we ask but more about taking from God's direction, wisdom and insight as to how we endure in our valley of darkness.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Older woman and younger man or any kind
I don't really like to comment much about this realtionship because I believe all relationship are fated and destined.
The reasons I describe as fated and destined because if they are fated and destined to be together then definitely there will be a way for them to get to know each other, like each other and find ways to being with each other. From the outside we may not easily understand them, thus I accept them that all realationship are destined be it for short term ie. few months, few years or longer term i.e more than 10 years.
Do you ever think it is easy to love the same person all your life say for 50 years or 60 years. I am in doubt. Unless the other person understands and accept me for that long period of time with complete loyalty, I think I can. Which is near to impossible for such an ideal situation to happen to me. I have never been lucky before. Lucky as the way I want it to be.
The reasons I describe as fated and destined because if they are fated and destined to be together then definitely there will be a way for them to get to know each other, like each other and find ways to being with each other. From the outside we may not easily understand them, thus I accept them that all realationship are destined be it for short term ie. few months, few years or longer term i.e more than 10 years.
Do you ever think it is easy to love the same person all your life say for 50 years or 60 years. I am in doubt. Unless the other person understands and accept me for that long period of time with complete loyalty, I think I can. Which is near to impossible for such an ideal situation to happen to me. I have never been lucky before. Lucky as the way I want it to be.
Relaxing Saturday
For the first time after several months, I have the chance to have a relaxing restful deep sleep. No more fearful of what I will be scolded of.
Spending alone at home is peaceful though some may regard me as weird and crazy. No stress and no pressure. I am too lazy to go anywhere because this demands money. And I try to minimise my spending till i have my next job. The cool weather makes me to cling inside the house and stay in this world infinitely. Nevermind if there is no electricity (this afternoon there is no electricity at my area) . I can lie down to nap and dream and fantasise and relax my mind whole year through from young till old. Fantasising about things that may not occur in reality, one can't imagine.
For the next few months I have to slog like hell on something. Something that I used to like a lot and now "re-establish" Wish that I have the brain, good memory, skill in writing and analysis to go through.
In order for it to be more achievable I think I have to forgo my interest in surfing internet, hehe. Surfing all sorts of websites from politics to documentary to facebook to cookery to music.
Too competitive at work place is bad for health. Working fast accurate and meet dateline is very bad for health.
Will see how then. Read from somewhere "God's plan for me is always better than my dream". Wow, if this holds true, I am sold.
Spending alone at home is peaceful though some may regard me as weird and crazy. No stress and no pressure. I am too lazy to go anywhere because this demands money. And I try to minimise my spending till i have my next job. The cool weather makes me to cling inside the house and stay in this world infinitely. Nevermind if there is no electricity (this afternoon there is no electricity at my area) . I can lie down to nap and dream and fantasise and relax my mind whole year through from young till old. Fantasising about things that may not occur in reality, one can't imagine.
For the next few months I have to slog like hell on something. Something that I used to like a lot and now "re-establish" Wish that I have the brain, good memory, skill in writing and analysis to go through.
In order for it to be more achievable I think I have to forgo my interest in surfing internet, hehe. Surfing all sorts of websites from politics to documentary to facebook to cookery to music.
Too competitive at work place is bad for health. Working fast accurate and meet dateline is very bad for health.
Will see how then. Read from somewhere "God's plan for me is always better than my dream". Wow, if this holds true, I am sold.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
1st July 2012
Six months has passed by in 2012. I shall be starting a new chapter of my life soon. Intend to tender on 4th July. Wish that this another 3 days they do not find fault with me. The reason I drag to 4th is of course due to financial reasons.
I have a mixed feelings of happiness and sorrow. Happy because the stress and tiredness will be gone. Too much workload for me. If i were to really upto date the job, i will have to work more than 24 hrs per day just solely working in the office. 3 persons job for one. And the office environment during closing end month and beginning of the months is more tense then taking public examination in the examination hall. This is very bad for one's health. Got to go.
Being jobless is nothing new to me. I have been jobless a few times before when i was young. However this round as I am older, this is a stumbling block. Shall have anew stress or anxiety. Still I got no choice, I cannot carry on working there. This is fated. Luckily I am usually prudent in my spending and cut off all holidays. To prepare for this raining days.
Mean time I shall be doing something that may exercise my rusty coconut brain. ......something not common for old people like me to be do, to pass time and gain more knowledge.
I appreciate the old chinese people idioms, "The days are not everyday sunny, and the flowers are not everyday blooming," and follow by one consoling one, "One strand of grass sure got 1 drop of dew drops." These are applicable to me now at this point of time.
I have a mixed feelings of happiness and sorrow. Happy because the stress and tiredness will be gone. Too much workload for me. If i were to really upto date the job, i will have to work more than 24 hrs per day just solely working in the office. 3 persons job for one. And the office environment during closing end month and beginning of the months is more tense then taking public examination in the examination hall. This is very bad for one's health. Got to go.
Being jobless is nothing new to me. I have been jobless a few times before when i was young. However this round as I am older, this is a stumbling block. Shall have anew stress or anxiety. Still I got no choice, I cannot carry on working there. This is fated. Luckily I am usually prudent in my spending and cut off all holidays. To prepare for this raining days.
Mean time I shall be doing something that may exercise my rusty coconut brain. ......something not common for old people like me to be do, to pass time and gain more knowledge.
I appreciate the old chinese people idioms, "The days are not everyday sunny, and the flowers are not everyday blooming," and follow by one consoling one, "One strand of grass sure got 1 drop of dew drops." These are applicable to me now at this point of time.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
23rd June 2012 - online diary
Though I have decided to quit my job, I still work very hard for them. For the past few days I have been working from 9:00 am till 9 pm something nightly. You may say that I am a fool. And I feel that I should do my best with full responsibility trying to update for them. The mother fucker is so impatient of not receiving my resignation letters yet, giving more additional task to pressure me.
This is really a fucking bullshit world where people are trying to kill one another. In this case it is not by weapons but through a more subtle way. Hopefully next month is my last month with them.
I want to pursue something which i have long neglected due to financial constraint. I pray to God for making my brain still function and with good memory.
Today being a Saturday, of course I am happier, with less stress compared to normal full working day. Slept like a log in the afternoon. This too is after i decided to call it quit. Prior to deciding to quit I have nightmares and worries that I cannot stleep even at 3:00 am in the morning. Those unnecessaries fears, sorrow and worries are coming to an end soon.
I foresee my weigh may reduce after I am no longer working. Got to tighten my belt and reduce spending. I look forward to church tomorrow ecause I like to listen to whatever that is preached by the Pastors. For unexplainable reasons I do not like nor enjoy the worshipping session.
This is really a fucking bullshit world where people are trying to kill one another. In this case it is not by weapons but through a more subtle way. Hopefully next month is my last month with them.
I want to pursue something which i have long neglected due to financial constraint. I pray to God for making my brain still function and with good memory.
Today being a Saturday, of course I am happier, with less stress compared to normal full working day. Slept like a log in the afternoon. This too is after i decided to call it quit. Prior to deciding to quit I have nightmares and worries that I cannot stleep even at 3:00 am in the morning. Those unnecessaries fears, sorrow and worries are coming to an end soon.
I foresee my weigh may reduce after I am no longer working. Got to tighten my belt and reduce spending. I look forward to church tomorrow ecause I like to listen to whatever that is preached by the Pastors. For unexplainable reasons I do not like nor enjoy the worshipping session.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
My Instinct Is usually Correct
My fear has materialised. I shall be not working soon. My boss makes my life very difficult. She asked me to do stock take fortnightly to every 3 days. The norm is once a month for all other organisations. She can't wait to receive my resignation letter, so got to resort to this ill-treated method. Thought I do not know, but I knew almost everything. She wants to make my life more miserable.
The mother fucker wants to protect herself because the food and beverage is too high. These are due to due to wastages and pilferage. The bitch is protecting her own incapability of preventing this, got to make me a scape goat to sacrifice as a failed controller.
How I wish she quickly contracted cancer. I think illness and disease are the one and only method to really tame and make good a person. The rest are bullshit.
I am also extremely happy tonight to hear that one of my old bad boss has contracted cancer back. He was cured for nine years and finally the cancer returns back. Serve him right for being a very conceited, proud, inconsiderate and unfair boss. Sometimes God is fair. Thank you. It is not that I am bad hearted but I was very cruel and shamefully mistreated. This kind of person we cannot feel a slightest pity or sorry for him.
The mother fucker wants to protect herself because the food and beverage is too high. These are due to due to wastages and pilferage. The bitch is protecting her own incapability of preventing this, got to make me a scape goat to sacrifice as a failed controller.
How I wish she quickly contracted cancer. I think illness and disease are the one and only method to really tame and make good a person. The rest are bullshit.
I am also extremely happy tonight to hear that one of my old bad boss has contracted cancer back. He was cured for nine years and finally the cancer returns back. Serve him right for being a very conceited, proud, inconsiderate and unfair boss. Sometimes God is fair. Thank you. It is not that I am bad hearted but I was very cruel and shamefully mistreated. This kind of person we cannot feel a slightest pity or sorry for him.
Relationship: Complicated
Every time when I see anyone describe their relationshop as complicated I feel agitated. Why does it neeed to be complicated?. If it were divorce, just say divorce,, possibly they feel embarassed about being divorcee. Some are maybe they are involve in a relationship with somebody's spouse. And they are unable to publicly say so. And maybe a few are involve with relationship of the same gender, they do feel ashame to say so, therefore got to use the term "complicated".
Actually it need never be any complicate, if you know that it is unwise or not legally to involve in that relationship why makes it so hard to be involve so. Find some part partner of different gender instead of same gender. Find a single persons instead of somebody's wife. They are just being naughty.
No harm admitting if you in love with other people's wife or husband, many billion others are in the same boat. Worse, some are involve with their brother-in-laws or sleep with their sister-in-laws, , etc
Actually it need never be any complicate, if you know that it is unwise or not legally to involve in that relationship why makes it so hard to be involve so. Find some part partner of different gender instead of same gender. Find a single persons instead of somebody's wife. They are just being naughty.
No harm admitting if you in love with other people's wife or husband, many billion others are in the same boat. Worse, some are involve with their brother-in-laws or sleep with their sister-in-laws, , etc
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