Separation

Separation to me means no longer in close proximity with the circumstances or people. There are 2 separation for me in this year 2011.

No. 1 is the separation of my employment. Meaning that I have moved to other organisation. It has been 6 years I have been working there. I wouldn't describe it as complete bad or else I wouldn't have stayed with them for 6 years. My six years of "youth" and energy has gone into the manhole drain. Along the way, I met a few good people. If it had not for that company I also would not have get myself in this present job. Seems that life is always moving and never be constant. Wished that the future is good for me.

No. 2 is the separation of myself with the spiritual organisation that i went to last time. To say that I learnt nothing from them is far from truth. I quit there because I feel that they are too harsh. Too unreasonably harsh and cold and some illogical discplines. It takes me 6 years also to detect the harshness. Some people are wiser, they do not take that long to find out. According to some it was not intentional. Whatever it is, i feel that it is no longer pleasing to continue further. Let the past be the past and make a fullstop as what they love to emphasise. "Fullstop", one of the their favorite words.

Life is tough and stressful

Life has always been tough and stressful for me. Tomorrow is my 1st day in my new work place. I am so full of anxiety, fearful and worries. The future is so uncertain and dreadful. The surrounding is new and not familiar. I do not like it. But because of circumstances I am landing in this new job of mine.

I have 3 people in different occasion and timing told me that the people here in this new place is good. Yet I am still wary. Life is always stressful unless I belong to those group that is couldn't be bothered attitude. Majority of the people are hard and tough. Wished that i belong to this category. I always wonder how come there are several people who are blind and foolish to describe me as tough and strong. Or have I have a very tough superwoman outlook. Funny, people's perception on me who usually not correct. Damn those fools.

Tonight I am so full of anxiety that I am sure not able to feel sleepy.

Botanical garden - entrance

This is front entrance of Botanical Garden after the two pillar were dismantled down.