Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A day in July 2012

So glad to meet up with old acqaintaces who are also not working.  They also have quit their jobs due to some unahppy reasons like me.  Most working places are like shit.  The head or the people are mostly like devils.  Some devils are very plain that you can at one instance recognise as devils.  Some and a lot are more subtle, they look like angels and normal human being but are devils in disguise.  These are more dangerous  because it takes time to find out one.

Still I have no regret in resigning.  I have told a few people about my hardship and they too agree that the one and only solution is to quit.   This fucking work place are not meant for me.  They were right,  they knew I belong to the type that has high tolerance limit,  patient, and multi tasking. Now that I have to run, better run.  Not destined to be at this present organisation for long sadly.

Got to start my new life a new.   Hopefully with blessing from the above, I can one day say to myself, "Luckily I am not stuck in that terrible place."

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Suspicion, Doubt and Uncertainties

To be suspicous, doubtful and uncertain about annother human is understandable because  human is not without weaknesses, fickle-minded, absent-minded, egositics, greed, and anger.

 However to have these 3 feelings towards God is something maybe I should learn more about the Book of God more.  In today's sermon I learn about the power of prayer.  I was told if we work, we work  alone,  If we pray God also works for us. We as Christian must side a set  time for prayers daily.

And the phrases for the beginning of prayers must goes like this:

1.  Hallowed be your  name, your kingdom come,  your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Then followwed by whatever you are asking for.

The ending paragraph is "Nevertherless not my will but Thine be done"

In Nehemiah 1 and 2 , Nehemiah prayed for 120 days before there was any feedback.
It is not to be forgotten that prayer is not so much on getting from God as  what we ask but more about taking from God's direction, wisdom and insight as to how we endure in our valley of darkness.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Older woman and younger man or any kind

I don't really like to comment much about this realtionship because I believe all relationship are fated and destined.

The reasons I describe as fated and destined because if they are fated and destined to be together then definitely there will be a way for them to get to know each other, like each other and find ways to being with each other.  From the outside we may not easily understand them, thus I accept them that all realationship are destined be it for short term ie. few months, few years or longer term i.e more than 10 years. 

Do you ever think it is easy to love the same person all your life say for 50 years or 60 years.  I am in doubt.  Unless the other person understands and accept me for that long period of time with complete loyalty,  I think I can.   Which is near to impossible for such an ideal situation to happen to me.   I have never been lucky before.  Lucky  as the way I want it to be.

Relaxing Saturday

For the first time  after  several months, I have the chance to have a relaxing restful deep sleep.  No more fearful of what I will be scolded of.

Spending alone at home is peaceful though some may regard me as weird and crazy.  No stress and no pressure.  I am too lazy to go anywhere because this demands money.  And I try to minimise my spending till i have my next job.  The cool weather makes me to cling inside the house and stay in this world infinitely.  Nevermind if there is no electricity (this afternoon there is no electricity at my area) .  I can lie down to nap and dream and fantasise and relax my mind  whole year through from young till old. Fantasising about things that may not occur in reality, one can't imagine.

For the next few months I have to slog like hell on something.  Something that I used to like a lot and now "re-establish"   Wish that I have the brain, good memory, skill in writing  and analysis to go through.

In order for it to be more achievable I think I have to forgo my interest in surfing internet, hehe.  Surfing all sorts of websites from politics to documentary to facebook to cookery to music.

Too competitive at work place is bad for health.  Working fast accurate and meet dateline is very bad for health.

Will see how then.  Read from somewhere "God's plan for me is always better than my dream".  Wow, if this holds true, I am sold.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

1st July 2012

Six months has passed by in 2012.  I shall be starting a new chapter of my life soon.  Intend to tender on 4th July.  Wish that this another 3 days they do not find fault with me.  The reason I drag to 4th is of course due to financial reasons. 

I have a mixed feelings of happiness and sorrow.  Happy because the stress and tiredness will be gone.  Too much workload for me.  If i were to really upto date the job, i will have to work more than 24 hrs per day just solely working in the office.  3 persons job for one. And the office environment during closing end month and beginning of the months is more tense then taking public examination in the examination hall.  This is very bad for one's health.  Got to go.

 Being jobless is nothing new to me.  I have been jobless  a few times before when i was young.  However  this round as I  am older, this is a stumbling block. Shall have anew stress or anxiety.   Still I got no choice, I cannot carry on working there.  This is fated.   Luckily I am usually prudent in my spending and cut off all holidays.  To prepare for this raining days.
Mean time I shall be doing  something that may exercise my rusty coconut brain.  ......something not common for old people like me to be do,  to pass  time and gain more knowledge.
I appreciate the old chinese people idioms,  "The days are not everyday sunny, and the flowers are not everyday blooming,"    and follow by one consoling one,  "One strand of grass sure got 1 drop of dew drops."  These are applicable to me now at this point of time.