Thursday, November 7, 2013

I still haven't found what I am looking for.

Seems like yesterday I write on my blog, but it is nearly a year ago.  (10 more days to 1 year since I last updated my blog).  Time flies.  People said when you are older, time moves faster.  This is certainly true.

The reasons for my neglecting this blog is due to I have nothing to write.  Everything is mundane.  No joy, no celebration, nothing new.  My own career is shaky. 

As the song tells it... - I still haven't found what I am looking for....

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Job interview and /or dating

There are two things which I hate very deeply.  They are dating and job interview.  Although both have two diffrent spelling and terms i really feel there are no differences in them.  They are almost identical in meaning and process and set-up 99.9999%.    The only diffrence is that one of them is interviewing for a potential  job holder and the other one is interviewing for potential position of boy-friend or girl-friend.

The reasons I desribe as similar are  :

1.  Potential interviewer that  is the boss or manager of the company will not prefer someone is presently unemployed.  They have the fear and no confidence to hire somebody who are unemployed thinking that, "well if he/she is good why are they not working now"   Similarly the potential man or woman will not prefer any person who is not attached now.  A potential boyfriend will prefer a woman who is presently somebody's girl-friend compard to a woman who is completely single and unattached.  It is for the same reasons, if she is good why still unattached.  This makes the unattached woman very unattractive for the post of potential girl-friend.  Better still or more  attractive is that woman is married.  Married carries the same weighting  or rating as employed and are more marketable.  Potential boyfriend will prefer you and regard you as more  valuable, other things being equal. 

I really hate dating and job interviewing.  They are both equally stressfull and very drain of energy.  Both of them also makes you feel like a victim and or a suspect being interrogated like hell.  These are the reasons I seldom inerview unless very necessary to earn a living.   

How blessed are the people who have the have a job that they are suitable and enjoying working with.   Like wise how blessed are couples who are very comfortable and loving towards one another. If there is a choice I really do not want to go through this wicked and suffering process.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

My Christian faith journey

Today, being Sunday, I go to sunday church service as usual.  Somehow I felt that today, i like the sermon a lot.  Anyway I enjoy the semon since my day one there. When I analyse the reasons why I like it, I guess it could be probably because I like History subject and sermons are mostly like History from the Bible.  They are real stories which had taken place in the past many thousand of years ago.

I like and agree with what the pastors mentioned about a few statements ;

1.  We are never in control of our life.  God is in  control.  God has the power to give us wherever he likes and He has the power to take them back as well.

2.  Destiny is the hand of  God.  

 My instinct tell me that these are true.   I cnnot agree more.  I have many cases which I believe are all God's plan and God's gifts.

If I knew  Christian's believe in fate, destiny and God's plan I would have earlier embrace Christianity.  No need to wait till I am so old. What a wasted years.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Sick And Cure

I have fever for 3 days with temperature around 38.9 C on Sat and  Sun nites.  This time I do not want to be so stupid to drag until 1 week to admit hospital.   Prior to this  I did go and see clinic doctor on Sat 22/9/12 but my condition do not improve. 

On Monday morning 24/9/12 I check in hospital.  I was worried whether it was dengue.  However the doctor told me it would be easy if it were dengue.  If not it would require further investigation.   So a thorough body check up was done on me.  Full analysis.   Lucky to say that I have clean health with the exception of cholesterol 5.8.   Ideally it should be below 5.2.

To cut the stories short, I had food poisoning.  Following that I lose few kg till presently 52 kg.

Looking back now, I make some analysis from where the food poisoning come from.   A night before I went to CG.  I have lots of food there.  I really unable to  say which one it was from.

I have to be extra clean in all my dealings now.  Be it with water, utensils, the food ingredients, towels and the rest.  The pain from the fever and never ending toilet visits makes me really very dizzy and weak that day.  With severe headache I can't even eat  or think or look at anything. 

Praise the Lord that I have recovered now completely.  The doctor told me no further medicine is required.  Only a balance diet, rest and exercise are required.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Cell Group (CG)

I start going to CG since Feb 2012 somewhere near the Chinese New Year season.  We have our CG every week except for first week of the month.  As at todate I have not missed any of them

My friends are asking me if I will like to open my place for CG or not.  Am still considering because inside my old house, I do not installed air-condition and I am wondering if it may be too warm for them.  If the attendance is 100% there might be around 21  persons.    I don't really mind much other criterias like my place is  the least beautiful compared to theirs.   So far I have been to total  8 (eight) houses.  Another 2 still I haven't been, schedule to be in the next few months.  The venue of the place  are by rotation subject to the host's convenience.  All of them are big new houses - 3 storeys mostly, bungalow and 1 new condominium.  Wow.   They really have much blessings from God.

We have many choices of food after the praying and discussions.  Each of us bring our food to exchange liken pot luck based on a duty schedule.

Last night the host prepare laksa to treat us all.  Spicy laksa which I ate one bowl.  This one is also a 3 storey house with electric circuit camera and alarm system installed.

Not that I really enjoy in the CG, somehow these open my eyes and ears to new knowledge.  Something I wouldn't know from my old faith.

As at todate not only I have no regret accepting Christ, I regret I have not accepted Christ earlier.  The Bible alone gives so much knowledge.

Unfortunately,  somehow the questions marks are, there are still lots of mysteries which I am unable to comprehend in life.  Mysteries and intense competition /rivalries in almost every sphere of life

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Missing something .......

Some people like me for example has more emotion than the average people.  No matter  how much I was not happy in that place and that time,  I still do miss it sometimes when I think over it.  Such as my old working place.   Only time may help me to have this sort of feelings fade and  gone or maybe until I have a new working place.  Gone are the days I stayed back for dinner at the coffee house and chat with colleagues.   We talked about topic outside work.

When I visited them it sorts of brings me some memories though it was not a completely happiest one.  A place that one time of my life I had spend with.  This doesn't only applies to work place. 

When I stepped to the old school I also have that similar feelings.  I can feel that time has transform so many people so many events.  The canteen looked so big in size compared to now though it is remained the same size physically.  I got to run like hell to reach the canteen.  And now we are all old. 

The mystery of life is that I normally prefer what was over compared to the future. I love the past more than the future.  Not sure whether this applies to everybody or not.

Can't  help looking back and wondering again, "Why not a happier ending?"

Surviving through hard times - comparison

My mind is never void.  It is very active, never ending thinking and wondering all sorts aspects of live.  One of the many thinking I am wondering is which of these lossess are most sad.

1. The lost of a husband through being  taken away by other woman  i.e divorces, or maybe by death  through sickness or accident.

2.  The lost of a job 

3.  The lost of a son, through sudden death, accident

4.  The lost of a wife , either by following another man or maybe death.

5.  The lost of huge amount  money  through scam investment.

6.  The lost of boy-friend /girl-friend through a switch of the heart by the person.

How much we grief about any of them are based on how much we place importance of any of  them

Those criterias are the amount of importance we place on them, the amount of love, the amount of affinity we have towards the object of lost.  To one woman she may place a career  her major importance  far more crucial than the lost of a son.  A son or child can be borned again if she is still within the fertile age. 

Lost of job has a lot to discuss  A normal job with a fair  wage pay for a fair wage job.  In most cases people do not like to resign unless in extreme situation where the person is asked to leave either directly or indirectly.  Some will advise that "well it is only  a job,  maybe it is a blessing in disguise when the person found a new opportunity or new talent in their future job".  Or maybe time to retire for good to rest happily ever after.  This  will depend on the financial standing on the person, the economic  and social situation.   In some instances it could be the worry of the next meal, then this will be worse or equal to the lost of a member of a family.  Life is normally tough.

The lost of a husband may be found again by replacing someone better in termsn of more  caring and more wealthy.   On the other hand she may be happier too if the husband is a sadist or is good for nothing chap always finding fault at home. Or possibly she too has a secret boy-friend behind her husband.  These too are all mysteries of life.

However to another person, their family is the first priority, the lost of a husband or son is almost the end of her life.  It may takes years for heal to recover her grief.  This is more so if she really loves her husband so much and has no intention of living alone and has no potential to find someone else.

So it is all arbitrary.  Different people feel  differently.   The dept of the feelings is not easy to quanitfied.  Like the case of lost of money through scam investment.  This too depends on the amount  and also the remainder money that that person still has on hand  and the amount of risk he/she willing to take. 

All in all, they are all loses in various types and down moment of one's life.