Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It taste so much like creamy vinegar.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I ate a small portion of porridge today after receiving one email regarding the danger of consuming too much rice. As rice after digest will transform to glucose. Ate more vegetables now onwards to compensate for the lesser amount of carb.
Read about the elderly who are abandoned by their kids in the paper. Well, internally in my heart I don't feel anything much. Because I remember very well, many people who have children are very arrogant and normally passed cynical remarks to people who have no children like me. And I am not sure whether those old folks have ever abused their children before when they were young. Can't help, some children do hold grudge and take revenge. After all this is a fucking cunning wicked world. This got to be happened. Pre-destined.
Friday, July 24, 2009
"I told you so many times, never, never involve in sex prior getting married. Why are you so disobedient? Why er? Why?" my mum keep nagging and scolding.
Peter was killed in a car accident. It was not a rainy day. Yet his car was involved in a collision with a lorry and he was killed. Poor Peter, he died at a young age of 28. We had discussed about marriage. He was my ideal man. Nobody else can replace Peter in my heart.
"Now I don't care how you feel, tomorrow early in the morning you better go for an abortion. What is the point of carrying a dead man's baby. The fucking idiot in your stomach will not be able to get his or her birth certificate registered." That were my parents words more than ten years ago. I cried uncontrollably several days. I was three months pregnant then. I was in a big dilemma. However, the next few days, with a heavy heart I had an abortion. Nobody comforted me, not even my siblings, relatives or friends. In fact all of them told me that I deserve to undergo this torment. Years passed by and the whole story was never mentioned again.
If I had stronger will power to keep the baby, he or she will be 15 years old by now. Those were the days. Looking back things have changed so much now. People accepted so well sleeping around prior marriage and without marriage like nobody's business nowadays.
P.S. Inspired by the news I read in the paper. The conversation and the event never took place actually. Just a work of fiction.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Here are ten points gleaned from the writings of Sri Swami Sivananda, which can lead any individual towards success in their chosen path in life. These guidelines have the power to benefit you - physically, mentally and spiritually.
1. Have a simple and unassuming manner of life.
2. Live not to eat, but eat to live.
3. Bear no envy. Commit no slander. Speak no falsehood. Practise no deceit. Harbor no malice. You will be ever joyful, happy and peaceful.
4. Righteousness is the rule of life. Lead a virtuous life. Strictly adhere to Dharma. Human life is not human without virtues. Study the lives of saints and draw inspiration from them.
5. Cultivate a melting heart, the giving hand, the kindly speech, the life of service, equal vision, and impartial attitude. Your life will, indeed, be blessed.
6. Lead a regulated life. Take hold of each day as if it were the last day, and utilize every second in prayer, meditation and service. Let your life become a continuous sacrifice to God.
7. Live in the present. Forget the past. Give up hopes of the future.
8. Understand well the meaning of life, and then start the quest.
9. Life is thy greatest gift. Utilize every second profitably.
10. Success often comes to those who dare and act. It seldom comes to the timid.However, I really have doubts if they are still applicable at this present era of year 2009. Big doubt, not small doubt.
Sources : http://hinduism.about.com/od/gurussaints/a/success.htm
Other links which may be of interest are :
Monday, July 20, 2009
I do not know how to use all of them. Anyway I decided to keep them all just for keeping sake. To throw or to declutter everything in sight is also a subtle form of bad habit.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I woke up around at 7:00 am. As I am already 1 hour late for spiritual class I don't feel like going to spiritual class anymore, thus I continue to sleep. Within that 2 hour of sleep from 7:00 am till 7:00 am I have negative dream. I dreamt that my house's porch area was cut away due to make way to more wider road. I felt terribly sad, so sad until I woke up around 9:00 am. I have kept tracked that if I ever continue to sleep after I woke up most time I will have negative dreams be it around 5 am or any time morning.
So as usual after cleaning my body I went to wet market. One of the items I bought was 12 nos. of lemons. The vegetable seller asked me if I am going to do fruit enzyme, I told him. No, I am going to cook arteries blockage concoction. He told me he has heard about it and asked me to write down the recipes and passed to him. I have no difficulty of breathing , neither do I have any health problem, this is just one of the precautions. This is my 3rd batch. My first batch was cooked on Mar 29, 2009 (recipes included).
It is nearly 10:30 am when I reached home. I prepare breakfast by frying 1 plate of soya bean noodles. Naturally with drinks, today I choose coffee.
I decided no rice today. Boil sweet potato, potato, fruits for lunch and spaghetti for dinner. Since mangosteens and rambutans are in season and cheap today, I bought each type 1 kg. Rambutans are selling at RM2/kg and mangosteens are selling at RM3/kg today. They cannot keep long therefore just bought 1 kg each. Once I start eating rambutans seems cannot stop till finished. I like the sweetness of rambutans.
During the afternoon I prepare the concoction. Preparation takes nearly 2 hours. Also prepare the syrup for mooncake skin. Syrup has to be prepred months earlier. Mooncake Festival will be coming in 2 - 3 months times. This takes me another 1 and half hours. After that I take shower and do some washing.
In the evening, I have tea time of fruits and lemon juice.
At 6:10 pm, I went for meditation in the evening to make up for the for the lost class in the morning. I foresee as long as I live I will go on with meditation because meditation and spiritual class suits sorrowful yet nice person like me, hehe. In my circumstance I need meditation to keep me going alive. It gives the soothing effect of being alive, to be connected to the Cosmic Energy. It gives wellness to the mind.
Watering my plants. Hope that my plants and herbs may grow well. Sweeping also not done today, ironing clothes also postpone. Resting also not yet included. See how time passes extremely fast during public holidays and weekends. Left with just short period of time for me to surf some of my favourite websites and updating my blog.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Whenever I look at this old tree trunk with grass grown in it in the middle brings me some old memories. The memories of the Chinese saying, "Chi kee chow chit tiam hor" in Hokkien. It simply means for each strand of grass sure to be one drop of dew. Therefore one can sure never starve to death. This is similar to the Malay version simpulan bahasa, "Ulat di bawah batu masih boleh hidup." I simply love this idiom. In difficult times such as now where certain management tend to in almost every conversation indicating sacking people. This particular idiom serves as soothing the mind as not to be afraid. We can still survive. We shall not be starving to death as indicate by certain egoistic proud management. Like the grass it stays alive forever even during drought season.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
As I am on leave today, I have the pleasure to do my own cooking. As the pictures depict I cooked mixed grains brown rice, steam lady fingers, fried ginger tau foo with tomato and celery and burdock root soup. My Mandarin speaking friend called Burdock as "New Phang". I have them done including cooking and washing up within 1 hour.
The cost of the ingredients are about RM4.50 (for both lunch and dinner). I have enough quantity to eat for dinner and lunch. Assuming I were to eat outside just for lunch alone at "Economy Rice" stall ; 1 plate of white rice RM1.00, soup 1 bowl RM2.00 (dilute too), 1 small plate of tau foo RM2.50, 4 nos of lady fingers RM 2.00. Total price RM7.50 only for lunch at coffee shop stall.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
375 gm self raising flour,
1/2 tsp bicarbonate soda
1 tsp ground mixed spice
90 g castor sugar
1 large carrot, grated
4 tbsp sesame seeds
170 gm sultanas
100 g natural yoghurt
1cup (250 ml) fresh milk
3 tbsp butter
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1. Preheat oven to 200 C. Into a large bowl, sift flour, bicarbonate soda and mixed spice. Add sugar, carrot, sesame seeds and mix to combine.
2. In another bowl, place yoghurt, milk, butter and eggs and whisk to combine. Stir yoghurt mixture into flour mixture and mix until just combined. Spoon mixture into muffin cups an bake for 20 mins or until muffins are cooked when tested with a skewer. Best serve when warm.
Where do you prefer to sleep, on the bed or on the floor with a carpet or thin mattress on the wood flooring.? After testing for a few months I will be sleeping on the wood flooring. This is because I have backache. By lying down my back straight on a hard surface this works like an auto massage. I even discard pillow which suppose to support my head. Head, back where the hunch back is, bum all straight on the floor. It is a wonderful feeling. My backache has minimised. The body feels good. Wish I had started to sleep on the wood floor earlier. Another side benefits of sleeping on the floor is that it is always cooling in harsh hot weather. I do not need fan or aircon with wood flooring.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Meditation and spiritual lessons are the methods to assist us to have the inner strength to cope with life. However to gain inner strength through meditation requires a certain period of time. I have not gain mine yet after I have learnt since year Aug 2005. Most probably because I don't practise constantly, the spiritual connection that our mind make with cosmic forces. The more regular and concentrate we are the more inner wisdom within us is acquired.
Life may be considered difficult and complicated or simple and easy depending on how we perceive it to be. It is only a matter of switching or tuning the mind to either which side. We have to let go of our junk and clutter. This applies to material possession in the home, work-related activities, relationships, thoughts and emotions. We are inviting too many distractions into our lives unconsciously through our experiences and others' experiences by our observations. One of my teacher's favourite slogan is "Don't think". What she meant was on a regularly basis we have to identify what is no longer serves a useful purposes. This applies to our personal life and career aspects of our life. This is getting the excess baggage out of our life. Do something every day to make our life less complicated. Refuse to spend time with people or things that are draining our energy, space, time or money. Do not remember or think of the weaknesses of others in our mind. Do not worry about things that might never happen. What if... any mishap happens. Switch off.
W can't change anyone or everything and live in perfect pure world, but learning to cope with the inevitable and be able to handle any situations like a somersault may make a difference.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Lately I have been very tired and weak. Too tired to write anything. Even if I write it will be mostly my anger, frustration and hatred. I hate to tell lies therefore I can't write what is not in my heart. I notice many people are having devilish trait. Maybe to others it is a norm, a norm to stay alive. My friend shared with me that he too was very fed up with certain peers character who talked so bad and condemn one contractor. Whereas in front of the contractor he pat and smile with the said contractor, even talk about games as if being old close friends. Just ten minutes ago criticise severely the contractor.
Some even lies and talk nonsense just because their position are higher. No wonder these days people are more prone to illness. I wonder if their thoughts, words and actions are not in alignment, will they ever feel any uneasiness. They talked one thing, do something else, maybe feel another things. One example is, one director boasting to outside people that his organisation is all working harmoniously like a big family. Inside the company, he is abusing verbally and mentally his employees. Internally his heart is condemning the workers for being not hard working enough, not loyal enough, not good enough, not efficient enough.
Nowadays nobody is really pleased with anybody I am sure. Similarly I too not satisfied with anyone in my life though I can assure that I give my passing marks very low. This is inevitable in life. Everybody has flaws including myself.